sword or shovel......blade as spade

There is not much of me that is part time.
I am not comfortable with the temporary.
I like the force behind the phrase “full-on”

I want my transitions short…and specific.
I want my segues strong…not soft.

I read manuals
I study roadmaps
recherche is research
I like to KNOW.

I do not act normal.
I loathe ordinary.

Now I realize…stagnation has made me less.

The whole “give it time” concept is unnatural
( if not completely unpalatable.)
Patience is what I have for others.
Patience is NOT something I have for myself.

While I embrace what comes from grey matter…
There is no grey area in MY heart.

Anger is my default.
I have crossed swords with the best of them.
Righteous indignation is my powerful friend.
Humor is my shield.
Anger is easier to feel than heartbreak.

However, I made a promise to a man….
and a vow to God…
that just this once
I would not resort to anger.

Not an easy vow to keep.

While cleaning out my “book” I came across a scrap of paper with a bit of wild child wisdom from another time. No doubt it was meant for me to read again today.

Although her namesake became the Lady of the Lake….
and handed Excalibur to Arthur…
(who also preferred to display anger over heartbreak)
to me this wise child handed a shovel and admonished:

“You’ve had too many mountains moved in your life.

You’ve never had to make mountains move
shovel full by shovel full.

You have just always pushed…and they have moved.

You need to look at things in terms of the real world.

Not in terms of how our lives have been."

I need to ask her if I can use the blade as a spade…
just in case…
cause sometimes I lean toward joel (3:10)
and sometimes to micah and Isaiah (4:3 2:4)

(and mija....what were the eight words?)