santa cruz wharf

23 July 2009

I stand corrected….FaceBook is my Friend

I have been a cynical, often disparaging, totally reluctant participant of FaceBook.

I have tried in my life to reserve the word “Friend” for those with whom I have a special relationship. I have not granted that title to just anyone.

And now…the word “Friend” has become a verb. 

“So-n-so” has Friend-ed you.

When I have been compelled to find someone I actually wanted to connect with…FaceBook informs me:

“So-n-so will have to confirm you are Friends” 

I hate that tone they take with me.
I just want to flip them off. 

Until this week FaceBook has mostly been a venue to keep in contact with my cousins and their children scattered through a couple dozen states.

My kids are all on FaceBook. 

Although Little Missy has been convinced by her novio to discontinue and delete the large majority of hers. 

The Cub and his friends post blurbs about beach and beer and babes I would rather not know about. 

If an investment banking player takes three dozen photos at some soiree in The City and SugarCookie gets tagged on a single photo…even though the player isn’t my “Friend” Facebook or otherwise, I have access to view the entire online album.

(yeah yeah…I know I don’t have to look…but I’m a Mom…I HAVE to look…ya know???)

Some of you all have Friend-ed me…which is cool as long as you don’t get upset when I don’t hunt eggs, send drinks or get in food fights with you.

I been Friend-ed by someone I attended High School with and do not remember or recognize.

I have been “Friend-ed” by my lover’s mother. 
For whom I try and behave…although I suspect she reads this weblog so that ship has sailed. smile

I have been “friend-ed” by the college roommates of HIS exwife.  Although I sincerely doubt either of his exwives will sign up to be my “Friend”…
Facebook or otherwise.

I am friends of my kids’ friends who range in age from almost 20 to almost 30 years old….so I am privy to their lives and loves…
I know way too much.

FaceBook suggests “Friends” which has been annoying and invasive and cumbersome.

And then…a suggested FaceBook “Friend” turned out to be the brother of a long ago time very best friend in my life.  An email later…and her 16 year old daughter “Friend-ed” me on FaceBook.  As a high school girl she has been disturbed by the fact her mother is no longer connected to her high school friends.

And although they live a thousand miles away…it turned out her band was going to be in town this week.  And that five of her ten siblings live here in Santa Cruz.  One right down the street.

and so… thanks to FaceBook…we get to be Friends once again. 

mary post
(however…don’t be thinkin’ this means I’m gonna be playing Mafia Wars….laughing….)


Desert Songbird said...

You know, even with your reluctant seal of approval, I still will NOT Facebook. Nope. Nuh-uh.

I was out with my choir buddies tonight, and they all tried to get me to convert.

Nope. No game.

Desert Songbird said...

But it is cool that you found someone you wanted to find.

I, Like The View said...

I'm with you on the whole FB thing

and I too found an old friend (or did she find me? I can't remember now!) thru it

like life, it's best in moderation - most of the time!


(can you email me your current address, so I can send some postcards when I go away?!)

Dana said...

I could have written this post! I bad-mouthed FB, I bad-mouthed Twitter, then I discovered my step-brother's wife on FB - my step-brother I hadn't seen for 20 years - my step-brother who is now known by Cam as Uncle Toby.

FB can be a pain in the butt, but it's surprising the connections that can also be made.

Matt-Man said...

I have an account but rarely visit it. Same with Twitter. I don't think I'll ever be a fan of Twitter but may start using FB more. Cheers Kat!!

katherine. said...

DS: it is invasive...and getting more so. It was very cool to reconnect...

ILTV: DONE!! we are facebook friends aren't we....but we never play

Dana: I remember when you wrote about that. It has benefits...but at what price. and there is the fact I would rather keep my FB life and my weblog life separate.

Mateo: I have yet to tweet. I would get to sucked into it.

Sandee said...

I just signed up, but I'm not impressed. Kind of juvenile to me.

Have a terrific day and weekend honey. Big hugs to you and The Teamster. :)

Elizabeth Bradley said...

I am a fan of the Twitter, but not Facebook so much.

Travis said...

That's a pretty cool story. Doesn't convince me to get a Facebook page, but it's a good story anyway.


Linda said...

I'm not exactly sure how to describe Facebook other than to say that it takes up way too much of my time when I get sucked into the mindless games or when I have to work on my "farm".

I so agree with you on the whole "Friends" thing though as I consider most of the people that I've added to be "Acquaintances" rather than "Friends". Matter of fact, I asked my dispatch partner if she really thought that 330+ people she had on her sidebar to be "Friends" and she said "well, no, probably not". They really need to come up with a term other than "Friends".

That said - so glad that you could hook up with your honest-to-goodness flesh-and-blood friend! See, sometimes good does come from evil! :-)

Mel said...

There are equally good things to be said about not being found on FB.


This said by one who doesn't have FB and by one who prefers to not be found.....mostly cuz I like being lost. *laughing*

Bond said...

I got dragged into FB kicking and screaming also...I don't do eggs and badges and bling..

I have found some old friends...very cool...I have to see what my son is up to (not always cool, so I don't look often- though we have had the 'you know employers now use these sites to find out about candidates' talk)

I have begun the MafiaWars thing, but only because it is me and only me...

Nancy lives to farm...

Can I be your friend too?

dadshouse said...

Oh, I hate being tagged in photos on Facebook. I'd rather control my online presence than have it spread out of control.

But you're right, Facebook is nice for serendipitously reconnecting.

Spadoman said...

I thought I posted a comment earlier today, but I don't see it. Basically, I said I belong to Facebook and have gotten in touch with many old friends and acquaintances. Although some people laugh at me for belonging, that's okay. I enjoy being in touch with people I thought lost from my life.
I must agree that all the BS, (Mafia wars and such), is dumb.
Passed right through Santa Cruz a week or so ago. I waved.


tony said...

Yea, I have/had my doubts about facebook (eg I dont like the way it harvests emails from your address book).But to be fair,recently i discovered a whole branch of my extended family in Argentina who i didnt know existed! So it has its uses!
I still cant get my head around the "poke" Idea!
By the way..........Nice Blog youve got here!
Regards From England.

Erika Henderson-Morse said...

You are so funny!