santa cruz wharf

29 March 2008

me and mija in the meadows ~ part one

reposting....in preparation for actually getting around to part two

part one in multi-part series

A great many of you are parents….most of you have parents. Some of you have grown children…some of you little ones….a few of you are actually grandparents(I am so very envious.)

Although never quite the Hallmark-type of Mommy…doing the maternal thing has been a very important priority in my life. There have been times I have dropped the ball…and a few decisions I have made left emotional scars which regrettably will last a lifetime.

At this point in my parenting experience…I can only offer the most basic advice.

If you bring your child up right in the Lord….give them street smarts…teach them the basic tennants of right and wrong….and provide them the broadest education you can manage…they will grow up and…

…they take you to Vegas baby!!!!


Picture me with my daughter at the gate in San Jose airport….our flight slightly delayed….anxious and excited to embark upon our little trip….the conversation full of fun and frivolity. Just the two of us for two days. Well….the two of us and whoever else is in Las Vegas. We are having breakfast with the boys….Peet and Noah. I have my Peets Sumatra…she has some floral tea concoction. Yummy bagels from Noah’s. She is quizzing me on the Teamster…and I mention that his Mama blogs too.

In retrospect this is where I should have just shut-the-eph-up….but oh no…I kept talking. I brought up the possibility that she might want to start reading my weblog. She was the one who suggested I blog afterall.
(until recently just about no one in my bricks and mortar life has visited my little site….) I could have changed the subject. Instead I got all enthusiastic and animated.

My daughter and I talk of the blogosphere…I try to explain Manic Monday, Thursday Thirteen and Wordless Wednesday without sounding like kindergarten. I mention how at times it becomes an outlet for all the pinballing in my mind…I mention a topic or two I have written about. Fondly with warmth and amusement, I start to describe the cast of characters I play with
(that’s you guys) I am blithely blathering about a venue to display my pictures and the fine art of commentary. She turns towards me…looks me straight in the eye…full force. Uh oh. I know this look. I e-phn perfected it. I am in deep bandini. Rapidly reviewing the most recent sentences I had spoken…I have an inkling of what is about to transpire.

“you what?”


anyone nearby would have no idea that the “soft” voice is the one which should strike fear in the heart of the bravest adversary. One of the things my daughter and I have in common is that we get angry softly…like a freight train softly. In our defense…you can actually see and hear our anger approach…forewarning and all…the key is to avoid the freight train
(queue Johnny singing….I hear the train a’comin’…)

“mommy…you have NO RIGHT”

My daughter is ticked. And I get pretty well bitch slapped right then and there. Apparently she thinks that having her name, image, email, and a dozen additional details of her personal life on half a dozen social networking sites (myspace…goodreads….et cetera) is perfectly fine and dandy….but me posting recent pictures and mentioning her every now and then is sketchy. Apparently she is all concerned people are gonna recognize her from my little weblog….and there are soooooo many people reading my posts one of them is probably some sort of freak of nature. whatever.

“if I violated YOUR privacy you would totally flip out”

well…maybe she has a point…it would mess up that whole witness protection gig.

Never able to deny her any request within my power….we negotiated terms. Basically I can’t give out her home address and telephone number on my blog…. ….I need to learn how to paste one of those black bars across her face in any recent pictures I post….and I must conceal her true identity.
(she’s actually a superhero in real life….)

Stay tuned for part two…

the plane ride out



47 comments:

Mel said...

Uh oh.........

DEEP cah-cah with the girl..
Yikes.

When my words start comin' outta the girl's mouth--I know I've had it.

Want some company in that corner? I'm pretty sure I ought be in it, myself.

I, still, like the views said...

yup, I'm in that corner too. . .

and it makes me think of that piece from The Prophet by Kahil Gibran about us being "bows" and our children being the "arrows"

guess sometimes they get us in the back-side and it hurts, huh

(my Teen is kinda chuffed that he gets referred to anonymously on the net. . . but perhaps that is a young boy teen for you?)

The Teamster said...

I've been advised by the "pro" "bloggers" to be anonymous...that's why the teamster only refers to his children as teamster one....teamster two...step-teamster....my dog's name is teamster dog....I've even developed a code....the teamster code...you have all taught me well...

Matt-Man said...

That is sweet that you negotiated however you could have said:

"Honey I love you, and I know that you are entitled to some privacy; however, I birthed you. I raised you, and you my dear, are a trademark owned by me. Deal with my use of it."

Man, that's tough love. Cheers Kat!!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Well, this sounds about right. Bwahahahahahaha, kids are something else aren't they. I have grandkids and they are lots more fun. You'll see. Have a great day. :)

Misty Dawn said...

Hey Katherine - I just wanted to drop by to inform you that you have a very, very special award waiting for you over at www.mistysmusings.com - I think you'll really like it!

Turnbaby said...

Hmmmm--she loses credibility in the incensed department if she's got 'real' info on Myspace Facebook etc. I'm only Turnbaby on the sites.

I do give some defining info but not a lot.

Good compromise though

david mcmahon said...

What a relevant topic for any parent who blogs.

I think this issue has very wide significance. I can hardly wait for the next post in the series.

Dixie said...

rut-roh....

I got found out too when Matt graduated from boot camp that's why I had to make a few adjustments. Have to watch what I post now anyways as there are a lot of rules by the DOD that even as a parent I must abide by.

Schmoop said...

Ha Ha! Luckily, most of my family don't even know how to work a computer, so I can do what I want! Neener, Neener!

Bond said...

I also get angry quietly...my vendor-partners have actually asked me to yell when I am angry because then they know I am not THAT angry...

I have never gotten this from Matt, though I have posted of him and posted pictures and all without ever asking...but he does visit on occasion...

ANd I agree with Turnbaby...if she is using those other sites, her credibility is lost...

Now, about Teamster's mom's site...how do we find that? Or better yet...has he begun blogging?

katherine. said...

mel: as I mentioned on your site...she is the one I trust....welcome to the corner.

ISLTV: I had forgotten the bows and arrows passage...thanks.

Teamster: oh that reminds me...I was gonna mention teamster 2....

matt: a trademark owned by ME! she'll hate that...I love it!

Sandee: if she wasn't so much like me...

MD: thanks sweetie!

Turn: I know....that's why I mentioned it....she thinks she can control her stuff...but not mine...

david: the rest is more fun...smile

Dixie: the dod isn't on to me yet

ice addict: ha! only a couple of mine do....but the kids ALL do

Bond: laughing....no....he won't blog....just comment....and I won't be the one to divulge his mama's site. He accidently gave it to me...and I think he may regret it....I have learned SOOOOO much....laughing....

The Teamster said...

what did you need to know about teamster 2?

I probably won't blog...I'm getting in enough trouble just commenting...

my mom's blog is a tool to communitcate between my mom and her kids....much of it about my dad and his health...nothing of interest to the blogging world....

Travis said...

I'm still "in the closet" with family and bricks & morter friends conerning my blog. And I'm likely to keep it that way.

I can be stumbled upon, but no one is really looking.

The Teamster said...

or you were going to mention teamster 2 on your blog????

Jeff B said...

I'm pretty much an open book. If I'm willing to let the world know what a goof I am then my family is fair game too. As you know most of them read my blog so being "found out" isn't an issue. I like it that way.

Looking forward to the rest of your story.

Casdok said...

Im also in the closet!!

Sandi McBride said...

You know, my son made me promise (like I ever would) I would never put my granddaughter's picture in my blog. I may mention her name (but rarely do, she is "the Girl" or "the Princess" but I don't think I have...and he goes in and reads my blog (which is more about the world in general rather than my family) to make sure. And if I were to post a picture of my Precious what would he do? Well, probably nothing, but I would have violated a trust, and so I don't. Loved this post...you are very eloquent! And love the spelling of the "f"...
Sandi

Linda said...

I guess I'm not in the corner with you or any of the others as my daughter seems to enjoy a bit of fame and notoriety from being featured so prominently in my blog from time to time. After all, one can't very well have a resident artist without that artist getting mentioned every so often!

Even my youngest has no problems with being featured occasionally though I'd be able to feature her a lot more if she lived with me but that's a post for another day perhaps!

I had to laugh when you said that it was okay for her to have her face all over a good number of other social networking sites but that it wasn't okay to be on your blog. Funny how kids' minds work, isn't it?

I hope the terms you came to are reasonable and not to worry, I for one will keep her super hero secret a secret!

Desert Songbird said...

Ergh. Now THAT I am NOT looking forward to - a verbal bitch slapping by my own daughter. Ugh.

She's about to turn 12, so I suppose it won't be too much longer, huh?

Can't wait to hear about Vegas. Sorry I'm late - you know.

Hammer said...

I'm kind of the same way about protecting my real life and identity. It's a small world out there and I don't want the wrong kind of attention.

jennifer said...

Oh Katherine, I LOVED this. Found you through Roger and so glad I did. My Diva Daughter gets offended if her lovely face is NOT on my blog occasionaly. I also love that you get mad quietly! Jennifer

Mimi Lenox said...

I sometimes wonder if it doesn't spoil it to share and mix our blog identities with our "bricks and mortar" lives as you put it. It's tricky for sure. I try to protect my own privacy (probably not as efficiently as I think I am) and feel weird about posting any family photos unless they're altered. And with permission.

I love the way your interact with your kids. I prefer to keep my blogging in the blogosphere for the most part.

She doesn't have a leg to stand on with that MySpace comparison!!
Great post.

Odat said...

Ut oh. You're in trouble!
lol
Peace

david mcmahon said...

I think the essence is that you published in pride. Pure and simple statement of fact.

But we hear our kids and respect their thoughts .... thank goodness.

Mel said...

((((((( kathryn )))))))))))

Cuz I can--

:-)

Bond said...

stopping by to say howdy...hoping all is well with you and and your family and Teamster

David / authorblog said...

Let me know when you update this!!

PLEASE!

JAM said...

Heck, my daughters get jealous of one another if I write about one on my blog and don't immediately write a post about the other. Like one having more Christmas presents than the other.

But if your daughter has a MySpace and Facebook, then the world knows about her anyway, no reason to get wound up about your occasionally mentioning her on here.

I, still, like the views said...

knock knock!

Anndi said...

The last sentence killed me LOL

My Chicklet wants her own blog... she'd probably be far better at it than I.

Oh well

Hope you have a great Valentine's Day.

Jeff B said...

Happy Valentine's Day. Hope all is well with you.

Linda said...

Just stopped into see how you were doing and wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. Hope all is well in your part of the world!

katcampbell said...

Must be in the air. My Princess, who has always thought my "little" blog was "cute" decided to tune in and read on the day I said she was "piddling" through college. Don't you just hate it when they've grown old enough to give you THE LOOK, quickly followed by the "how would you feel" speech? Kids. Sheesh.

Mimi Lenox said...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Skittles said...

Happy Valentine's Day, a day late.

Odat said...

Where are you????????
Happy Valentine's Day!
Peace

Bond said...

Looks around...runs finger over the furniture...at least you dusted - LOL...Waves hi....

Hope you and the Teamster enjoyed Valentine's Day

Bond said...

yooooo hoooooooooooo

Marilyn said...

I'm out with the world but the only picture I ever posted without permision was of Andy... and he's okay with publicity as long as I keep mentioning he's a real estate agent.

I have been dragging my feet about giving my mom my blog address though. Dad has it. Hubby has it. Hubby's coworkers have it. I have no idea why I wouldn't want my mom and sisters to have it, but there must be some emotional reason.

david mcmahon said...

SURELY you haven't abandoned this blog, Katherine!!

Jeff B said...

"Is there anybody out there?

Just nod if you can hear me,

Is there anyone at all?"

The Teamster said...

hey.....it sounds like the masses are waiting for part 2...as am I....

Odat said...

stopping in again....looking around.........Helllllooooo.
Peace

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Oh goody. You're going to move on to part two. Yay. Awaiting the next installment. Have a great day. :)

Misty Dawn said...

By the way, sorry for the spam but I'm helping Barb/Skittles let everyone on the Heads Or Tails blogroll know that HoT has a home of its own! You can find it HERE.
See ya on Tuesday!

Bond said...

Will there really be a Part 2? or are you just trying to be a tease?