santa cruz wharf

05 September 2007

Damn.

This is one of those times I have no explanation. None.

At 17 and 19, two of my kids struggle with their shock, their loss, and their horror. They search their hearts and minds for a way to support three of their own. Among friends they discuss details, question with disbelief, stand silent with tears. My kids are making plans to attend court arraignments and memorial services. Damn.

A man who has been The Cub's Lacrosse coach for seven years and was Little Missy's for two, has been arrested for the murder of his wife by suffocation. She was found by one of their three teenagers. All three were home at the time. Their father had left in the middle of the night following an argument…and later turned himself in to police. It appears he killed his wife and left his children to find her. Damn.

She was a loving Mother and well known in the local greenbuilding community. By all accounts a good friend to many. Certainly someone whose home you were happy to have your kids hang out in.

I liked this man, you know. He was encouraging to my Cub…for whom Lacrosse is the only one of “his sports” he has permission to play since he broke his neck. When Little Missy first joined the team, he took the time to teach her the nuances of the game, which was brand new to her. He coached on his own time and promoted a co-ed high school team in a sport unknown to this part of the United States. He welcomed the Cub into his home. He made a point of chatting with Little Missy every time he visited the hardware store where she works. He has no history of violence or abuse.

My Cub and Little Missy are friends with these three kids…who have lost their Mother at the hands of their Father. They have been to their home on many occasions. A man who they have admired, respected, hugged, celebrated, and shared meals with has done this heinous thing.

Damn.

19 comments:

crazy working mom said...

OhMYGOODNESS! I can't imagine what those children are going through, AND yours as well. I'll be sending good thoughts to the family and yours as well.

Desert Songbird said...

Oh, Katherine. How terrible. I have no words except to echo you.

Damn.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

oh no honey! i am so sorry to hear this...

hugs, bee

Mel said...

Oh my gosh.
What a tradgedy for everyone.

*sending prayers to you and yours*

((((((((Katherine))))))))))))

Mags said...

*sigh*

I don't have any words that can make this better. I wish I did...you and your family are in my thoughts...

Skittles said...

Oh how awful!!! My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone touched by this..

Matt-Man said...

I could give a paragraph or two about how it will be alright, but it wouldnt be worth a damn. Instead, I'll just say that I am sorry and I hope all works out as well as it can. Cheers Katherine.

Linda said...

Damn.

This is not something that children should ever have to go through in their lives. My thoughts go out to your children and their friends as my heart breaks for them.

Mo said...

Damn.

What else can I say?

Damn.

Turnbaby said...

You couldn't be more right in saying that there simply is no explanation. I wish you and your children well as you deal with this tragedy.

Diesel said...

Wow, I guess you never really know someone.

RubyShooZ said...

Katherine, You don't know me, I'm new here, but I wanted to extend my deepest sympathies for you, your children, all the children and families involved and the community as a whole.

The most horrendous things happen in lives everywhere at times and there just are no words. I feel for you deeply. I'm sorry, truly.

My hope and prayers for everyone is that you all can and will pull together to help each other get through it in whatever ways you can to reach some sort of healing - this can come in time I suppose but I know too these things leave scars. Prayers and group hugs for y'all.

Peace.

Odat said...

Damn...You never know what lies inside a person...Bless them all.
Peace

JAM said...

I'm sorry, I know your kids are astounded.

We've fortunately not had to deal with anything like this.

My Big Sis and Brother in Law have a friend, he and his wife have eaten many dinners at Big Sis's house, was recently arrested for instant message teen hunting. Or however you would phrase it.

He had been online for a while, trying to set up meetings with a 13 year old girl, who happened to turn out to be a Shreveport, Louisiana policeman instead. The whole town they live in is shocked.

It's not murder, but it is hard for anyone to believe.

Best wishes to all involved there. Those poor kids lost their mother AND father in one moment.

Skittles said...

Just checking back to give you a hug..

Travis said...

How horrible!

Keith Hillman said...

What a tragic tale. Your words were so heart-felt. I came here as a result of your Rising Blogger Award for which I congratulate you. I look forward to returning at happier times.

Anndi said...

Damn is right.

I feel so sad for those kids, they lose their mom at the hands of their father.. they're in my thoughts.

I send courage for your children, no one should go through this. May they find the strength that will allow them to stand by their friends and be of comfort to them.

Damn...

I want to hug my Chicklet now...

Akelamalu said...

I popped over from Rising Blogger to read your winning post - it is a winner. Such a tragic and frightening story. Just goes to prove we think we know someone but people are not always what they seem.