santa cruz wharf

21 June 2009

the fathers

As I looked through these pictures I was struck how very little these men have in common…these men who play the role of “Father” in my life.

my own father
my grandfathers
my step father
and the fathers of my children

k y dad(please note:  even as a one year old my eyes automatically closed when the shutter opened.  )

bw donI’m going to see my Father later this week for some paper signing.  It has been quite some time since we have been together.  For most of my life, family wisdom was that my sister is artistic, kind, and curly like our mother…and that I am our “father’s daughter. ”

camping donI do carry my Father’s strong genetic imprint.  My countenance, my temperament and my talents come from him.  My brother and I both.  Ironically, it was in my Father’s grief-ignited breakdown 
to make our life situations identical, which resulted in our estrangement.

My childhood and teenage years were pretty great. I grew up in a wonderful home with many FOBadvantages.  Month long vacations to national parks and family events were a 
priority. There was never any question that each of us would be sent to college.  And while it was a Father-mandated location… it was also a parental-funded education. My Father was a life long engineer…an intelligent and generous man.  There was never any doubt that he loved me, my brother, and my sister.

This is my first Fathers’ Day without a living Grandfather…and my Mama’s first Fathers’ Day without her Father. (funny guy below on the left) If you’ve been around here the past year you’ve read a few posts about the man he was and his legacy for our family.

I was named after my Father’s Father. (funny guy above on the right)  His first name was Clare…my middle name is Claire.  He taught me about the railroad…and how to fish. His example of love for my Grandmother taught me how a husband should be.  He was always trying to set me up with some young man in town. I haven’t posted about him much…he has been gone a long time now.  I will have to remedy this oversight.  
After church I met the fam and pjsome friends for brunch at one of my StepFathers’s favorite hangouts… the restaurant at the local golf course.  They have great food…but the interior design is that of a 1970’s retirement home cafeteria. 

My StepFather hasn’t ever actually played golf.  But he does have some very specific restaurant criteria. He knows the guy who runs the place…so we always get seated no matter how crowded…they have a full bar…and “the waitresses have good breasts.” 

FD don Little Missy and The Cub have each grown into pieces of their Father.  He still calls for advice or to lament over something one of the kids have going on.  I am the go-to-girl for medical issues, school, and affairs of the heart. He knows they both call me to help convince him to do something they want.  I’d like to think I play the role of advocate and peacemaker… but it is more accurate to think along the lines of a sneaky, double-crossing, secret agent. 

043SugarCookie’s Father is the only man who convinced me to marry…and he was barely out of boyhood at the time.  We have been divorced for almost twenty years. We see each other at graduations, funerals, and when our daughter srp davisneeds both of us.  My daughter is an awful lot like her Dad..which is mostly a good thing.  smile.  Thank God she takes after me where baseball is concerned (Go Giants!) I don’t know what I would do if I had given birth to a Dodger fan. He and I talk when there is something really good or really bad to discuss.  He is the father who made me a mother… and for that I am eternally grateful.

Wishing all of you Fathers a very Happy Day!


Mel said...

To the dads, granddads, step-dads and shoulda been dads....


lala said...

What a wonderful post :]]

In response to your wisdom tooth story, OH MY GOSH. That is so awful! I am so sorry you had to go through that! Is that legal? I mean, that just seems so wrong! Could you have taken action against him?

Bond said...

Fantastic post Katherine.

Thanks for sharing some more of your life with us. You come from incredible stock, it is evident....and your kids are all blessed

Linda said...

Ah, so those are some of the "key" players that you have referred to in the past! Thank you so much for making their formal introductions to us.

You have a fascinating life, do you know that??

Sandee said...

What a great tribute to the fathers in your life. I've learned much more about you today.

What Linda said about your fascinating life too.

Have a terrific day. Big hugs to you and The Teamster. :)

dadshouse said...

Great sentiments. Happy father's day to all the dads.

david mcmahon said...

Wonderful post, Katherine

Mimi Lenox said...

I love this post and the unique way you placed them all side by side and celebrated their strengths. Wonderful tribute.

Sneaky, secret agent huh....

Matt-Man said...

Nice post Kat. As for the one below...I don't, of course, know what's going on, but no matter who, what, or why, was a trainwreck, you gotta let it go as you said. No remorse, no regrets. Sadness perhaps, but definitely, no regrets. Cheers Kat!!

I, Like The View said...

lovely, really lovely

thank you

here's to all the fathers who make women great mothers


Deb said...

A thoughtful, compassionate post written from the heart - my favorite kind.

Selina Kingston said...

What a great post!

I just found your blog by chance after I too had just written about my father.

Do take a moment to look if you have a moment. I will certainly be here.

All the best,

Merisi said...

Such beautiful mementos about the fathers in your life!

Congratulations on winning top spot on David's Post of the Day Award. Well deserved! :-)

Spadoman said...

Very nice! We don't make a big deal out of the Father's Day and Mother's day rituals. You know, the Hallmark generated holiday theory. But this was a really great short vignette about these men in your life, full of insight and nostalgia. Good job.

I'm home from a long trip. I got hugs and kisses from daughters and Grandkids, (and spousal unit). Feels good to be loved, and to know it and believe it.


Lisa said...

What a warm, loving post! I really enjoyed reading it...I see why you received the blog of the day award.


I will drop by again. I like it here.

Brian Miller said...

wonderful post and tribute to the men that played a role in your life. congrats on POTD!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

lovely poignant post...well written touched my heart.

Elizabeth Bradley said...

What a sweet display of memories.

♥ bfs - Mimi ♥ said...

Here from David's. Congrats -- and good work!!

Pouty Lips said...

I came by from David's. Congrats!

Desert Songbird said...

Wonderful fathers posts, Katherine. My kids are very blessed to not only have a good father, but a great daddy, too.