commenting back

Not wanting Mateo…or anyone else to “gaze in perplexion” at the comment left on my previous post…here are my thoughts.

At first it was kinda bizarre and out of place. An anonymous visitor in my comment section detailing a theory has to why OJ Simpson would have felt the need to butcher the mother of his young children … leaving her mutilated body and that of another for them to find.

I could tell right away that it wasn’t just spam as Anonymous begins by mentioning what I have said about meeting Mr. Simpson a few times…and watching the entire trial.

Then it dawned on me…confirmed by a quick search…this is a subject I’ve never written about on my own web log. Ah ha…the plot thickens

I fairly certain I may have at some time Congressman, commented on someone’s else’s blog with my opinion of this heinous crime and miscarriage of justice. To the best of my recollection Senator, I have a murky memory of mentioning it on a blogtalkradio show….but gotta admit I don’t know which one. I listen sporadically to a handful…and have called in to two or three. Either way…it’s been a while since I have mentioned any of my thoughts or opinions on this matter.

In my offline life there is a dropdead certainty I have categorically stated my opinion on the clusterfuck of a murder trial that resulted in one of the most shockingly horrific displays of juror imprudence. So…I am not sure how or where or when Anonymous came to know me. And I do not know why Anonymous does not want me to know them. But I am a big proponent of free speech….and I honor their right to do so.

(taking a very deep breath)

I really do not think that even if Ron Lyle Goldman was personally shoving drugs down Nicole Brown Simpson’s throat (or that of her children) it changes the situation one bit.

Even if Goldman was not the golden boy depicted…and even if he was the biggest drug dealer in all of Los Angeles County his crime pales in comparison to the brutal slashing that occurred.

There is no provocation bad enough to justify what happened.

Having done 15-20 in the greater Los Angeles area skirting the edges of the entertainment industry, I can attest to the fringe society that hovers around the rich and famous. The combination of money and immorality (in addition to fame and power) can be seductive. It is pervasive and attractive. You can not be anywhere near the entertainment industry and not be exposed to it.

I have no reason to dispute all that my unknown commenter claims about Ron Lyle Goldman, his history, his crimes, or his reason for being at Nicole Simpson’s home that evening. I do know that if OJS was indeed concerned about his children being exposed to that type of drug culture….it would have been pretty easy to prove the situation and gain custody of his children.

Somehow I think having their mother murdered in that manner….and living as they live now…with their father… quite possibly the man who committed that crime…is a far worse life.

The court system failed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Lyle Goldman. It failed those children. I don’t care what the provocation was.

Ecclesiastes and Etymology

to everything there is a season….
…and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I am thankful to be given this season.
I am grateful to be given this time.

a time to weep
a time to laugh
a time to mourn
a time to dance

when autumn comes I want to be laughing
and dancing…

a time to cast away stones…
and a time to gather stones together

I’m gonna keep track of the Summer

yesterday I sorta started a journey…
(and rather surprisingly to me)
yesterday I sorta started a journal

any etymologist out there?
who can connect journal and journey?

a time to rend
a time to sew
a time to keep silence
a time to speak

I am not much of a journal-ist and certainly have never been known to keep a diary. I’ve had a few…but it was the locked book concept that drew me…not the idea of jotting down my thoughts.

There are pages I wrote when I lost my brother and pages I wrote when I lost my best friend. Those pages served to articulate into order and logic the overwhelming crashing of emotion and circumstance which threatened to implode in my brain. Articulation soothed my pain.

a time to kill
a time to heal
a time to break down
a time to build up

I can’t promise healing.
I won’t promise damage repair.
I can promise to not break down.
I faithfully promise to build up

in a book I will articulate summers journey

to everything there is a season….
…and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Dona Nobis Pacem

today I join the international celebration:

Blog Blast for Peace

The official site can be found HERE.
You can select a template and post your very own globe.

Mimi Lenox is an amazing woman who has taken the cause of Peace to an unbelievable level within the weblog world. Her everyday blog is a funny, touching...sometimes heart tugging tale of her life and love and Bloggingham Palace. However Mimi's Thirty Reasons to fly a Peace Globe detailed horrific, international situations to strive for Peace. She has inspired bloggers from around the world to join in their own personal way to stand for Peace.

Take a minute....go to the Blog Search page and enter:
"Dona Nobis Pacem"
You will be truly amazed.

Mimi, you have given thousands of people a heart for peace
and truly fulfilled the legacy of your Grandfather.

sword or shovel......blade as spade

There is not much of me that is part time.
I am not comfortable with the temporary.
I like the force behind the phrase “full-on”

I want my transitions short…and specific.
I want my segues strong…not soft.

I read manuals
I study roadmaps
recherche is research
I like to KNOW.

I do not act normal.
I loathe ordinary.

Now I realize…stagnation has made me less.

The whole “give it time” concept is unnatural
( if not completely unpalatable.)
Patience is what I have for others.
Patience is NOT something I have for myself.

While I embrace what comes from grey matter…
There is no grey area in MY heart.

Anger is my default.
I have crossed swords with the best of them.
Righteous indignation is my powerful friend.
Humor is my shield.
Anger is easier to feel than heartbreak.

However, I made a promise to a man….
and a vow to God…
that just this once
I would not resort to anger.

Not an easy vow to keep.

While cleaning out my “book” I came across a scrap of paper with a bit of wild child wisdom from another time. No doubt it was meant for me to read again today.

Although her namesake became the Lady of the Lake….
and handed Excalibur to Arthur…
(who also preferred to display anger over heartbreak)
to me this wise child handed a shovel and admonished:

“You’ve had too many mountains moved in your life.

You’ve never had to make mountains move
shovel full by shovel full.

You have just always pushed…and they have moved.

You need to look at things in terms of the real world.

Not in terms of how our lives have been."

I need to ask her if I can use the blade as a spade…
just in case…
cause sometimes I lean toward joel (3:10)
and sometimes to micah and Isaiah (4:3 2:4)

(and mija....what were the eight words?)

Indy. Indy. Indy.

Saturday we went to see Indiana Jones.
Sunday we watched the Indianapolis 500.

And yesterday in Indiana...
in a quiet respectful voice…the doctor said,
“Mr. Lynch, now it is time for you to decide where you want to die.”

Just like that...he gets to decide.
In the hospital...or someplace else.

Five weeks ago I agreed my girl should be the one to go to Indiana to care for her Great-Grandfather when he returned home from his heart attack. She is the oldest of the twelve “great-grands”. She has always been close to him. She had a window of time not claimed by other obligations and stepped up. The experience of care giving and helping him during this process will be with her for the rest of her life. Not many twenty-six year olds get to know their Great-grandparents…she had seven living Great-grandparents when she was born. She was able to know five of them. She is especially close to this one. Not many people of any age help prepare a loved one for death.

The past few weeks have been filled with stories of doctor visits, medical tests, drugs, shower scenes, arguments, laughter…the little details of life. (hmmmm…maybe I should post her updates.) At his last doctor’s office visit a couple weeks ago, my Grandfather reiterated his decision not to pursue angioplasty…and accepted the inevitable consequences. As my Grandfather was leaving…the doctor stood and told him, “Mr Lynch, I honor you”

A few days ago in the middle of the night, the nitro and the oxygen no longer alleviated his breathing difficulties...so a couple of really nice EMT’s came over to stabilize what they could and provide the 45 minute ride through the back roads of rural Indiana.

“Granddaughter?” They asked.
“no” shaking her head “GREAT-granddaughter”
(met with raised eyebrows)

“You live here?”
“No…I live in California…I’m just here for a few weeks”
(more eye brow action…turns out the EMT did a cross country motorcycle trip which included riding up the west coast from southern California to Alaska…)

Hospital Admission. Tests and Drugs. Palliative Care.

Without going into all the medical lingo of atria and ventricles...the best analogy we’ve been given is that of a six cylinder engine. Up until April his heart was running on all six cylinders. After the heart attacks he was running on three…maybe four. Since then the damage done by the heart attacks…plus the fact that his heart has been running the show for over 93 years…have left him running on a single cylinder. And the timing is off. And the muscle deterioration continues. The domino effect leads to failure of other organs and systems. But not his brain.

Still conscious. Still cognizant. Still fighting. Still living.

My Mama has gotten on a plane …well wrapped in denial.
Because yesterday…in a quiet respectful voice…the doctor said,
“Mr. Lynch, now it is time for you to decide where you want to die.”

My Grandfather answered the doctor by saying that yes…he knows his time is short. And in my mind…I can hear him...without being there I know EXACTLY his tone of voice.

The doctor said “go…die surrounded by your family in comfort.”

I wonder what it must be like. Fully aware your heart slowing down. Fighting to breathe and for the strength to say only a few words. Having decided not to have the procedure…do you wait for the symptoms to take over? Is there fear? Is there joy? Do you embrace it? Welcome it? Do you try and take control…or do you allow yourself to let go? Is it the ultimate acceptance?

And how do you watch him go through this...
your father, your grandfather, your great grandfather?

far from the fire...

Thanks for the concern....I live in town... quite a ways from the fire and flames....

I have several friends under mandatory evacuation as of this morning....and pray their homes are not in the fire's destructive path. The air quality warnings are out especially for seniors and children. Arnold has declared a state of emergency.

Thousands of acres have been and will be destroyed. Containment isn't anticipated until late tomorrow evening.

Santa Cruz Mountain Fire

My Offline Life ?

I’ve been mulling over the term “real life” lately.

Specifically what I mean when I refer to my “real life” as opposed to my “online life.”

What is my real life?
Is it only the portion contained in Bricks and Mortar?

I didn’t really consider whether or not my online life was just as real as my offline life until Miz Turnbaby got her ass all chapped last week and decided to make it the subject of her weekly Blog Talk Radio extravaganza. Before Turn’s callin’ me out, if was merely part of my vernacular.

For me….online communication…and friendships…exist in a different realm. Not that the people I know and love in the blogosphere are any less “real”…they just exist in a different realm…almost a different dimension. Rarely am I exposed to the tone or inflection of their voice, the expressions of their face, or the gestures of the body. (One of the reasons I started listening to BlogTalkRadio was to hear the voices of the people I read.)

One of my very favorite web logs has never shown the face of the author. I quote her…and pray for her….and visit her site almost everyday. I consider her a true friend…and very real….but is she part of my “real life”? Kinda. The pieces I take from her blog cross over into “other” parts of my life.

I am a multi tour veteran of online dating. (all the major league sites…and a couple of the minors) I think it is fraught with danger. Liars, cheats and thieves fill out profiles luring unsuspecting men and women. However, I truly believe it is a valuable tool for single adults in all walks of life. For my part, I met quite a few men who were not in person as they were online. Meeting online is just not the same as meeting in person. I met a few who were exactly who they claimed…but with whom I just did not click. They seemed nice enough in email…in chat and on the telephone…but when I met them in person…eh....not what I thought.

Some of you know I had adamantly opposed a long distance relationship. I am not the type well suited to a part time gig. If I had met a man…no matter how attractive to me... who lived a couple hours away….I would have said no way. However I met one online…and a series of significant emails caused me to reconsider. (if you are so inclined… see the links at the end of this post to read the articulate, heartfelt messages The Teamster used to convince me….) Granted until I met him face to face….I had no idea if my impression of him was “real" or not…but if we had first met in “real life” I would have never considered the possibilities.

My family belongs to many online communities, FaceBook, MySpace, GoodReads, LinkedIn to name a few. Some of my weblog friends have crossed over into these venues as well. Does that multiple connection make them more “real” to me….probably not.

You may have read of my meeting Sandee and Linda in real life…(sorry Turnbaby…in person). I have to admit…they are more real to me now having spent a couple hours over dinner with them than before. They were both real to me before…but now…more real.

Just like you all are “real” to me. The personal insights I glean from your writing and your photographs. The private details you share about your life…the good stuff and the bad. The way you comment on other blogs… the blogs I read in common with you. What you hint at and allude to…and what you never blog about at all….provide me a framework of who you are.

Many people (in all demographics) do not invest a great deal of time or effort into the world wide web. They have no online presence…and indeed our blogosphere is unreal to them. Most of the world has no access…for many reasons. They could not consider our blog world as being real life. Many people I know have only heard the horror stories and view the internet as a more efficient delivery method for gossip and pornography (paraphrasing Leo McGarry). I found this funny little video giving examples of "real life vs the internet" which conveys a bit of truth.





The definition of “real life” is changing in our culture. As with everything the degree of reality in your online life depends of what you put into it. And what you get out of it. My online, two-dimensional, virtual, internet life is very real indeed.

For those of you who are fans of the rapper “Plies” the CD “Definition of Real” is scheduled to be released on 10 June 2008.…I‘ve never heard his stuff….but hey…he‘s thinking about "real life" too.

Post Script:
Craig...The Serotinous Man...has expanded (expounded?) on his comment to this post...

"we have created an environment that is causing us to expand our understanding of consciousness, communication, relationship, connectivity, and even humanity - especially blogger's C;). "

He always has some interesting thoughts....you might want to check him out...

The Teamster emails….
get “REAL”...If you actually scrolled down here to look…shame on you. I was joking! Sheesh…even people in my 3D life don’t get to read those…

Comedy and Connecticut at Cancun

What great fun we had at dinner!

Linda of Are We There Yet visiting all the way from Connecticut. She was the catalyst for bringing us all to dinner at the delectable Cancun in Stockton.

Her fun and funny friend Cyndi who lured her back to California for a visit (atta girl Cyndi - THANKS!) Yeah it’s a little odd to always be taking pictures of our food and everything else. Thank you for arranging the spectacular fireworks show just for Linda!!!

Sandee of Comedy Plus with the funniest side comments ever (“she must have teeth down there“) Commodore?

Mr History who only says “its her story“…not much else…but doesn’t miss a thing! (I kept wondering if he was profiling each of us…can I get a copy of the report?)

(I was right…those two are totally lovey dovey and gitchey gooey)

The Teamster accommodating, amused, and all around good guy. He now has two more blogs to read…

And me…..who’s camera had dead batteries…can you beLIEVE that? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

It was the first time my weblog world crossed through the looking glass into my brick and mortar life.

It was interesting to me (having never met these guys) how much we knew of the personal details of each other’s private lives. Previous posts kept popping up in my mind. And of course we talked about some of you who weren’t at the table…..laughing. I think the restaurant is considering a new policy of no flash photography.

Truly…I totally enjoyed meeting all of you. The time went by so quickly. Linda…enjoy the rest of your visit…whether it includes Tahoe or Yosemite or or Bakersfield or “J”. Sandee…we look forward to Isleton Joes!

all right already....pass me the bottle

I was in need of the Pacific. I had been away the better part of April...and while we visited beautiful...wonderful...awe-inspiring locales....I needed MY ocean. Early yesterday morning I walked over. To one side...in the early light of dawn...I saw an odd glimmer.


A huge pile of bottles...each with a message inside.

Suddenly.... from the distance I heard the rattle of keys...and then that haunting, melancholy piano melody known only to those of us who have had the misfortune of being imprisoned in deep, dark, dank, dungeon of Blogginham Castle.

Knowing what fate would befall me if I did not act quickly.....I pulled my laptop from my backpack. I had been tagged for The Message In A Bottle meme sometime in the late 1980's by her majesty Queen Mimi. I was in big trouble. Half the known blogosphere had complied and the special weblog established for this purpose had overflowed onto my beach.

And although I can righteously claim a multitude of reasons and excuses....in many ways I put this one off. The entire concept has been forever tainted in my mind by the book "Message In A Bottle"...it seemed only fitting to draw my message from that work.

"If some lives form a perfect circle

others take shape in ways we cannot predict

or always understand.

Loss has been a part of my journey.

But it has also shown me what is precious.

So has love...for which I can only be grateful"

as said by Theresa Osborne in the novel "Message In A Bottle"

by Nicolas Sparks.

Here's the gig:

1. Compose a message to place in your virtual bottle

2. Right click and Save the graphic above (the empty one)

3. Use a graphics program of your choice to place the message on the picture

4. Return your anonymous "Message In a Bottle" to Mimi via email at sendmessageinabottle@yahoo.com

5. Your virtual bottle will remain afloat in the Blogosphere Ocean for all blogernity. You may post the virtual bottle on your own website as long as a direct link is placed back to the Message in a Bottle blog. The graphic may not be altered. Your submission will be numbered and dated. Send in as many as you'd like. If you choose to remain anonymous, no identifying information will EVER be disclosed to anyone. You can also choose NOT to be anonymous in which case Mimi will post the name and url of your website.

so....today is your birthday....

shhhh....it's not widely known...cause no one is allowed to celebrate
wtf? he came to my birthday gig..and I hate them more than he does
nevertheless...today is his birthday.



Thought Provoking
Harley Riding
Enthusiastically Motivated

Thanks Giving
Easy Going
Adventure Seeking
Movie Watching
Sensual Loving
Touch Giving
Esoteric
Romantic

my heart with rapture thrills....

My country,' tis of thee,
sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing;
land where my fathers died,
land of the pilgrims' pride,
from every mountainside

let freedom ring!

My native country, thee,
land of the noble free, thy name I love;
I love thy rocks and rills,
thy woods and templed hills;
my heart with rapture thrills, like that above.

(My Country Tis of Thee)

What difference if I hail from North or South
Or from the East or West
My heart is full of love for all of these.
I only know I swell with pride and deep within my breast,
I thrill to see old glory paint the breeze!

This is my country! Land of my choice!
This is my country! Hear my proud voice!
I pledge thee my allegiance, America, the bold,
For this is my country to have and to hold.

(This Is My Country)

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

(America, The Beautiful)


God bless America,
Land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Thru the night with a light from above;

(God Bless America)


And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

(The United States of America National Anthem)

(just back from Florida and DC....more later...the Jefferson and Washington Monument photos were taken by the Teamster...)

Wordless Wednesday ~ all gone...time to go home.

so....how many cousins does it take...

Today's big event in Flora....we had visitors from Kokomo...

How many cousins DOES it take to change a lightbulb?

apparently two with an audience of five...even then it took an hour....(to be fair the set screws had detached from the interior of the light fixture) This is my daughter and my first cousin who collaborated to reassemble this hanging lamp...

I'm not a city girl....but this is ridiculous

This was the highpoint of our morning....when the squirrel temporarily evicted the birds so he could have a bit of breakfast. Not a great shot...through the rain splattered window and all...but even I was alarmingly excited to have something different to look at.

I had never spent much time here in Flora. Until recently my Papa lived in Lafayette...which is not only the county seat...but is also home to Purdue University. (go Boilermakers). I know Lafayette. I know where to find things. I have several hangouts I can escape to. I know people there. I miss Lafayette.

Just about 2200 people live here in Flora. No coffee shops. No dry cleaners. No movie theaters. Not a single stoplight. I can't even find a bar. I did however have my choice of fourteen different churches yesterday. (We went with Methodist...although I was a bit curious about the Amish service....)

The biggest drawback is sketchy, damn near non-existent cell service...and just about no internet access. The only wireless is at the library...which is a way cool library with very modern, comfortable, overstuffed chairs and sofas...but very limited hours of operation.

Papa (which is my grandfather...not my father....smile) is doing very well for having two heart attacks just a week ago...roller coaster blood sugar readings...and three generations of caregivers (in addition to his girlfriend) hovering around constantly asking him if he needs or wants anything. He says he is "plum wore out" but wants to live to at least 94.

A little over a year ago when I first started my weblog...I wrote this little post about his moving...it has a picture of us together which I think I'm gonna print out and put in a frame.

I can not tell you how much I appreciate the words, wishes, thoughts and prayers you all have sent our way. It's given me a warm, calm spirit...which you can be sure the rest of my family appreciates....almost as much as I do.

never underestimate the power of persuasion

Papa yesterday...in the hospital, wiping his hands after eating.

Papa yesterday....AT HOME playing cards with my cousins.

Papa talked his way out of the hospital yesterday morning. We were all totally caught off guard and unprepared. The night before the cardiologist had told us he would probably be a couple more days. My aunt put the poor staff through the ringer. My Mama called the doctors to get the scoop....confirm meds....and schedule home care.

Papa thinks he is escaping...they think they are letting him go home to die. Truth be told....he thinks that too. He has refused all the necessary tests cause he has decided he is NOT gonna have an angioplasty. He'll take the drugs...try and eat right...get some exercise...but he sees no need to be having the procedure.

So....the prognosis is not good. His heart is failing. But his mind is still very sharp and he is very stubborn (family trait.) My Papa knows what he wants. Even if it makes us all scared and very sad, our family has chosen to respect his decision.

In some ways I think I would like to be 93 years old...and be able to say "enough already...I've had a good life....I'm ready to go"

In many ways...that is a blessing.

Obama in Lafayette

I didn't have a chance to look at the local paper here in Lafayette, Indiana until late in the day....I glanced at the headline...and did a double take. Candidate Obama (Barry to his buds) is gonna be in town....TODAY!

"Hey....let's invite Obama to visit Papa!" I announce in the somewhat crowded hospital room. It's usually standing room only and it has taken us a day to relax in each others company. Everyone looks at me like I am out of my e-phn mind. Truly most of the time they look at me as if I am out of my e-phn mind...so I keep going.

"He's gonna be 93 in a week...we have four generations of registered voters in three (or four?) parties visiting from seven different states....c'mon...they would love us...you KNOW they would come"

One of my aunts shakes her head....she's known all along I would come to no good. My uncle has that bemused look on his face....he is the only one in the family who is a bigger smart ass than I am. My Mama gives me exasperated....and patiently explains that there is at least one person in the room who would throw Obama out the minute he crossed the threshold.

Now personally...I'm not voting for the guy...but still...why not? I'm getting really stircrazy sitting in the hospital and hotel....and they all know....that is when the trouble starts....

(update: Papa is doing pretty good...no more heart pains...having a hard time keeping his blood sugar at a safe level...but other than that he is good.)

Did you see me? I was waving!

I flew over a lot of you guys today!
(and boy are my arms tired...ba-dum dum)

starting out in Santa Cruz, California
SJC
DET
MSP
IND
ending up in Lafayette, Indiana

all is fine...but I am way trashed from thirteen plus hours of traveling. My almost 93 year old Papa (my maternal Grampa) had a heart attack early Monday morning...and he told everyone they should come "home"....so as many of us as could, did.

We spent time with him tonight...he says he is ready to be discharged from the hospital tomorrow...not so sure the doctors will go along with Papa on this one. He is also trying to cajole one of us into smuggling in a hit of Jack for him. Not to worry...I am willing to bet a least four people will abide by his request.

While flying out today.... a great remembrance that Gene (brother of Jeff) posted a couple weeks ago came to my mind. It is about their Grandpa Lynch. I encourage any of you who have living grandparents... or senior aged friends... aunts... uncles... whatever... give 'em a call (or a visit if you can) just to say hey.

rolling.....rolling....

Each of us plays a role in our family.

It may be a work family, an adopted family, a blended family, a biological family or even a blog family.

Doesn’t matter…we each have a role.
Sometimes they change.
Most times they don’t.

I didn’t originally choose my role in my family. It was assigned to me by my Father, back in the day when I didn’t have a choice…I was a young child and the circumstances evolved as they often do. Mandated by necessity….dictated by birth order.

Most certainly as a teenager I reveled in my role. I took wholehearted advantage of it. I benefited from having the power and I loved having the influence (which most of you know is even better than power.)

As an adult….I have…at times decided to maintain my role. Not always…but more often than not…I have maintained my role. Not so much with the power and influence anymore…now it’s about responsibility. It is about being linear. It is about being strong. Providing options, exploring contingencies, encouraging decisions.

With full knowledge (or at least a significant portion of that knowledge) I acknowledge that I am still choosing this role. My choice. Me. All mine. Most of the time I don’t even have to be called upon…I just step into my role. (or take a blind flying leap onto the spiraling out-of-control merry-go-round)

Sometimes….like this morning…I am drafted into service
“What are you going to do?”

When I have to answer, “I don’t know yet” the response is immediate…. “why not? What are you waiting for?” (and in my mind I answer…well damn…first I am gonna walk through the door and get more data than I had ten minutes ago when I got the call)

That person who wants you to step up, (so they don’t have to) to take on the mantle of your role… then they want to tell you exactly how to play it out. I bit my tongue so as not to ask…. “well what are YOU gonna do?” Not the time to be crossing swords.

Late at night…by myself…very quietly…I complain at what it costs me. I wonder who I can pass some of the burden off to… my sister?… my step dad?… my uncle? Arrogant bitch that I am…none of the options seem viable.

So…again I choose my role. It’s the role I really want afterall. I wouldn’t be happy playing a different one. If I didn’t play this role…at the end of the day I would be compelled to take it back.

I best be callin' on my better angels...all of them....

(on the other hand, the next time someone asks me what role I REALLY want…I’m truly gonna tell them Pillsbury’s Orange Danish thankyouverymuch)

Wordless Wednesday ~ golf can be so draining

from the back of the bike ~ The Delta

When all the forces of the Universe align (weather, kids' schedules, et cetera) we seize the opportunity to head out on the bike. I am a bit of a rookie at this whole Harley gig...but I got special gloves for my birthday and special boots for Valentines Day...so hey...let's ride.

This weekend we went to The Delta. On previous rides I have neglected to take my camera...or it has been locked away in some compartment. I hesitate to make the "pull over hand signal" every time (every half mile) some sight catches my eye. This time I decided to sling my camera around my neck and try to take a few shots as we rode.

Taking pictures from a moving vehicle (car, truck, plane) is not easy for me to begin with. I am a well known klutz. Wearing thick leather gloves...peering through a full facemask helmet....the wind buffeting my camera...and trying to maintain a low level of movement on the back of a motorcycle adds to the challenge.

In this part of the state there are several "wind farms" with large windmills harvesting energy to provide an alternative source of electricity. They are somewhat controversial...for many reasons. Only recently have I spent any time around them...and the concept fascinates me. Look for more in a post to come.

We try to stay on the backroads when we can. The scenery is far superior. The stupid drivers are far fewer.

California has an amazing agricultural capacity. Farms, ranches, orchards, and fields are everywhere.

The Delta is an excellent water sport destination. I took many photos of people in their boats fishing...most are a furry blur. As we rode into the afternoon....I found myself wondering if any of my blogworld friends were out there...fishing on their boats?

We stopped in the community of Isleton to eat lunch at this great place which dates back to the 1930's.

I am looking forward to the warm weather and many more rides. Maybe I'll even learn to use the camera while in motion!

me and mija in the meadows ~ part one

reposting....in preparation for actually getting around to part two

part one in multi-part series

A great many of you are parents….most of you have parents. Some of you have grown children…some of you little ones….a few of you are actually grandparents…(I am so very envious.)

Although never quite the Hallmark-type of Mommy…doing the maternal thing has been a very important priority in my life. There have been times I have dropped the ball…and a few decisions I have made left emotional scars which regrettably will last a lifetime.

At this point in my parenting experience…I can only offer the most basic advice.

If you bring your child up right in the Lord….give them street smarts…teach them the basic tennants of right and wrong….and provide them the broadest education you can manage…they will grow up and…

…they take you to Vegas baby!!!!

Picture me with my daughter at the gate in San Jose airport….our flight slightly delayed….anxious and excited to embark upon our little trip….the conversation full of fun and frivolity. Just the two of us for two days. Well….the two of us and whoever else is in Las Vegas. We are having breakfast with the boys….Peet and Noah. I have my Peets Sumatra…she has some floral tea concoction. Yummy bagels from Noah’s. She is quizzing me on the Teamster…and I mention that his Mama blogs too.

In retrospect this is where I should have just shut-the-eph-up….but oh no…I kept talking. I brought up the possibility that she might want to start reading my weblog. She was the one who suggested I blog afterall. (until recently just about no one in my bricks and mortar life has visited my little site….) I could have changed the subject. Instead I got all enthusiastic and animated.

My daughter and I talk of the blogosphere…I try to explain Manic Monday, Thursday Thirteen and Wordless Wednesday without sounding like kindergarten. I mention how at times it becomes an outlet for all the pinballing in my mind…I mention a topic or two I have written about. Fondly with warmth and amusement, I start to describe the cast of characters I play with (that’s you guys) I am blithely blathering about a venue to display my pictures and the fine art of commentary. She turns towards me…looks me straight in the eye…full force. Uh oh. I know this look. I e-phn perfected it. I am in deep bandini. Rapidly reviewing the most recent sentences I had spoken…I have an inkling of what is about to transpire.

“you what?”

anyone nearby would have no idea that the “soft” voice is the one which should strike fear in the heart of the bravest adversary. One of the things my daughter and I have in common is that we get angry softly…like a freight train softly. In our defense…you can actually see and hear our anger approach…forewarning and all…the key is to avoid the freight train (queue Johnny singing….I hear the train a’comin’…)

“mommy…you have NO RIGHT”

My daughter is ticked. And I get pretty well bitch slapped right then and there. Apparently she thinks that having her name, image, email, and a dozen additional details of her personal life on half a dozen social networking sites (myspace…goodreads….et cetera) is perfectly fine and dandy….but me posting recent pictures and mentioning her every now and then is sketchy. Apparently she is all concerned people are gonna recognize her from my little weblog….and there are soooooo many people reading my posts one of them is probably some sort of freak of nature. whatever.

“if I violated YOUR privacy you would totally flip out”

well…maybe she has a point…it would mess up that whole witness protection gig.

Never able to deny her any request within my power….we negotiated terms. Basically I can’t give out her home address and telephone number on my blog…. ….I need to learn how to paste one of those black bars across her face in any recent pictures I post….and I must conceal her true identity. (she’s actually a superhero in real life….)

Stay tuned for part two…
the plane ride out

excuses....excuses...excuses....

Okay …in the past six weeks I blew up the hard drive of my laptop….decided to look for a new job….had connectivity unavailability due to technical difficulties beyond my control…spent an inordinate amount of time riding the ACE Train….and then (no kidding) blew up the hard drive of a SECOND laptop…

I have become alarmingly familiar with the Blue Screen of Death which in my mind is accompanied by Darth Vader’s theme score …
(hum along with me... dun-dun-dun duh-duh-dun duh-duh-dun…)

Thankfully I know of a talented and wonderful man who managed to retrieve all of my files…including my pictures….for a not so small fee....now all I have to do is buy a new laptop. Not the best time financially to be laying out this kind of bank. Being the technosnob that I am…I want a really good laptop with some of the bells and whistles…and I want to research-adnauseum the entire process.

Since Thanksgiving my three kids (SugarCookie, LittleMissy, and the BearCub) and my Mama have all gotten new HP Laptops…not the same one…but all HP. I had a hand in all but SugarCookie’s acquisition (she is by far a bigger geek than I…her father and BOTH her grandfather’s are engineers…and her J-Boy is rather brilliant as well.) So chances are pretty good I’m gonna go HP.

Whatdayathink…?????

I want the Intel Centrino….
(trust me….I know what I’m talkin’ about)

15 inch? 17 inch?
(size really does matter)

Do I want something I can easily slip into my bag?
(or is this a really good excuse to get a new bag?)

2-gig HD or 3-gig HD?
(they both have the 250 memory)

Do I really want the ten-key on the keyboard?
(numbers girl that I am)

Why the e-ph can’t I get one WITHOUT the webcam?
(there is no way I am chatting with the Teamster at 4am via webcam)

What about blue-ray capability?
(J-boy says Blue Ray is the only way)

Black keys? Silver Keys?
(I have light vision issues…so probably black….)

Do I really want the AT&T Smart Card?
(I do….but can I afford it?)

Anybody want to weigh in with an opinion of two???

Thursday Thirteen ~ Forty Niners

this was SUPPOSE to post on Thursday 24 January....however....due to technical and logistical difficulties beyond my control....et cetera...
smile

Thirteen Random Facts about the Forty-Niners....

1. The San Francisco Forty Niners Football Team was named in homage to the prospectors of the great California Gold Rush of 1849.

2. On 24 January, 1848 gold was discovered by James Marshall. Marshall was foreman building a lumber mill for pioneer John Sutter. They kept the find quiet for some time. Sutter knew his plans to build an agricultural empire in Northern California would be overrun by gold crazed prospectors.

3. Another young owner of a Northern California lumberjack business....Anthony Morabito...campaigned tirelessly for years to be given permission to form the first professional sport team franchise to be based in San Francisco. The Forty-Niners were originally part of the All American Football Conference in 1946. In 1950 when the AAFC folded the Forty Niners were awarded the NFL franchise.

4. Gold rumors were first confirmed by San Francisco newspaper publisher and big mouth Samuel Brannan in March of 1848. In August of 1848, the New York Herald was the first major east coast newspaper to report the California Gold Rush.

5. In an address to Congress on 08 December 1848, President James Polk confirmed the discovery of Gold in California.

6. Approximately 90,000 people arrived in California in 1849....50,000 to 60,000 were Americans...although California was not yet a state of the United States of America. Ultimately over 300,000 people would rush to California to find their gold.

7. San Francisco....home of the Forty-Niners...had a full time resident population of approximately 1,000 people in 1848. By 1850 it would be over 25,000.

8. The San Francisco Forty Niners Football Team scored a measly 24 touchdowns in the past 2007 season. (yeah...that sorta sucks)

9. The gold rush of '49 did indeed ruin John Sutter....his workforce deserted in search of gold...the prospectors trashed his land, his crops and cattle were stolen.

10. On 24 January 1848...when gold was discovered at Sutter's Mill, California was still technically part of Mexico, under American military occupation. On 02 February 1848 the war ended and California became a possession of the United States as a territory, and did not become a state until 09 September 1850. California existed in the unusual condition of a region under military control. There was no civil legislature, executive or judicial body for the entire region. Local residents operated under a changing mixture of Mexican rules, American principles, and personal dictates. (kinda like now)

11. Historian H W Brands wrote:
"The old American Dream . . . was the dream of the Puritans of Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard. . . of men and women content to accumulate their modest fortunes a little at a time, year by year by year. The new dream was the dream of instant wealth, won in a twinkling by audacity and good luck. This golden dream . . . became a prominent part of the American psyche only after Sutter's Mill."

12. The San Francisco Forty-Niners are the ONLY football team to win the Vince Lombardi Trophy five times....say what you will...it is still FIVE times baby....

1982 (26 Forty-Niners ~ 21 Bengals)
1985 (38 Forty-Niners ~ 16 Dolphins)
1989 (20 Forty-Niners ~ 16 Bengals)
1990 (55 Forty-Niners ~ 10 Broncos)
1995 (49 Forty-Niners ~ 26 Chargers)

13. One hundred and sixty years after gold was discovered on January 24, I turned Forty-Nine years of age.

Hat Trick

we're back...and I'm exhausted...

we completely enjoyed the Star Trek Experience

had the best time at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar

and was totally blown away by the Beatles' Love show

I'm post more....but everyone keeps telling me...."what happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas...."
(just kidding....I'll post more later....)

Thursday Thirteen ~ distractions

I intended to post another political Thursday Thirteen…but canNOT seem to concentrate on making it happen…I promise…next week. I’ve got too much else pinballing around in my brain.

Thirteen Things Distracting Me
(aside from the dozens of posts in my Reader)

1. Printout and review the full color version of our hotel/casino map. I like to know where I am, where I am going, and how to get there...without standing around looking at an e-phn map. I study up in advance.

2. Decide what to wear to “LOVE”. It has to be an outfit that packs well. I don’t want to iron when we get there. Ironing would cut into my Star Trek Museum time.

3. Trim the Japanese Maple tree. Every time I get out of the car at night I get poked in the eye. During the day I have sunglasses on…so the branches just get caught up in my hair.

4. Do I pack my little federation pin?...or should I just wear it on my coat and on the plane?

5. Did anything in the freezer defrost enough during the power outages to require throwing it away?

6. mani/pedi.

7. Apparently The Teamster increased his cell phone texting plan to unlimited text messages.

8. Take my knife out of my purse. Were there any significant changes to the TSA carryon rules in the past sixty days? Praise God I can carry on coffee now…although damn…I still can’t take my snow-globes...even though they have all been fully documented. Have you ever read this website? This is a post in of itself. Sheesh.

9. Need to borrow my Mama’s black leather jacket. Her’s has a burgundy lining…mine is blue. Her’s goes better with my skirt.

10. I should lay the fire in case the power goes out again. It is more difficult to do in the dark.

11. Since I refuse to be limited to 3oz of everything…I will have to check a bag. Since I have to check a bag…I might as well take a suitcase. Since I have to take a suitcase…I can pack more. If I pack too much more I’ll have to climb up and get the bigger suitcase. (I'm spiraling here...I admit it)

12. Surf for an affordable method to convert 35mm slides to digital. Should I just have selected ones done professionally? If I buy the equipment would I do all of them? And then everyone elses....hmmm...

13. Can I get by on two books…or should I pack a third?

wordless wednesday ~ surfer bike

manic monday with mo ~ one

One summer day in July when I was ten years old, the nation...perhaps the world...gathered in front of the television. Not drawn by death and destruction…rather united as one in awe and hope….and with great national pride.

The grainy, shaky, black and white shape of one man…his slow, backward decent down the ladder…in a bulky suit…as he stepped off the Lunar Module, Eagle from Apollo One One (smile)

“… that’s one small step for man
…one giant leap for mankind.”




It was one amazing feat of courage and science. Reading the Wiki article I learned a lot of details which were not originally reported…and a whole bunch I had forgotten. I’m feeling a little spacey this week…cause I’m getting ready to go to the Star Trek Museum….

More manic monday with mo minions and their posts of the theme one can be found at It's a Blog Eat Blog World.

getting the last word

"Oh and I don't want to die for you, but if dying's asked of me;
I'll bear that cross with honor, 'cause freedom don't come free."
American Soldier, Toby Keith
quoted by Andrew Olmstead in his final post

The world wide weblogging world…where we feel like we know people we never have met…people who we never will meet. This is one of those things I hesitate to post. However it is very important to me that I do not overlook the contribution of the man…or the sacrifice he …and his loved ones…have made for me and mine.

A number of you who read this weblog have a close family member currently serving our country in military service. Several of you have a son or daughter on active duty deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan. I am cognizant of how this may impact your heart.

In addition to the fun and frivolity you all provide...I also read quite a few serious blogs…including a few written from the front lines so to speak.

Heavy Sigh…one of those has been Andrew Olmsted. Tragically his unit was ambushed and Andrew Olmsted has been killed. In his typical smartass manner he acknowledged that he wanted to have the last word on his blog…so he left a final post to be made in the event of his death.

You can read it on Obsidian Wings…and if you want to read some of his more recent posts check out Rocky Mountain News. There are several comments on his final post from his family and friends on the Rocky Mountain site. (he previously posted on Andrew Olmstead)

Damn.

stormin'

Apparently we don't usually get "Tropical Storms" here on the central coast. We're getting hit with the beginning of a three tier set of 'em. I tried to take more pictures at the beach but the wind was sandblasting my face...seriously. My jeans and windbreaker were coated with sand.

Power is on and off. Trees are down everywhere. The wind is so strong they are closing bridges and leaving the bigrigs on the bridges. The brunt of the first wave of the storm is to hit in about two hours.

Thursday Thirteen ~ Iowa

Thirteen Things about the Iowa Caucus that are on my mind.
(with all love and respect for Mel…)

1. Democrats and Republicans have a total of 15 candidates in play…not including the other party candidates…(Giuliani, Huckabee, Hunter, McCain, Paul, Romney, Thompson, Biden, Clinton, Dodd, Edwards, Gravel, Kucinich, Obama, Richardson) Why does Iowa get to be the ones to narrow it down?

2. In 1972 the McGovern Campaign aided by a series of articles in the New York Times engineered media and national voter attention on the arcane Iowa Caucus. While I am sure it brings an incredible amount of revenue to the state….it seems to be more of a media circus than an accurate barometer of who the voters support...yet may determine who proceeds.

3. The election of the President of the United States of America is made by the Electoral College. There are 538 electors. Iowa has SEVEN (by the way…California has 55) The number of electors are determined by number of senators (2 per state) plus the number of representatives (435 divided by percentage of population) plus three for the District of Columbia.

4. Iowa keeps moving their Caucus up earlier on the calendar…not sure this seems right somehow.
2004 - January 19
2000 – January 24
1996 – February 12
1992 – February 10
1988 – February 8
1984 – February 20

On Tuesday, 05 February 2008 there will be “primary” or “caucus” elections in 24 states. This represents almost 50% of the electoral votes.

5. Iowa has 2.3 million eligible voters. The Iowa Caucus is held by Precinct. There are 1,781 Precincts in Iowa. The results go on to both parties’ County Conventions…although by a completely different set of procedures. (see below) They have 99 counties in Iowa. California has 58 counties. (Why does Iowa have so many counties?)

6. The Democrats count the number of people actually standing in the area of a room (in a church, school or library) which is designated for a specific candidate. For half an hour you get to try and convince your neighbor (friend or family member) to come stand with you. Then they count who is standing where.

7. The Democrats then determine which of the eight candidates are “viable.” If your candidate did not reach the “viability threshold” of 15% you gotta go find someplace else to stand. This is referred to as “persuasion time.” Those who were standing for candidates who are now not viable….either go stand with their “second choice” candidate….or may abstain. (and yes…everyone is trying to get you to stand with them…it’s kinda like “Red Rover Red Rover” with arm twisting and smokey backroom dealing…)

8. This Democratic head count dictates the delegates’ vote at yet ANOTHER Caucus, then the County Convention, the District Convention and the State Convention. Although they can switch their vote…apparently they do not. This may have something to do with the media declaring the winning Iowa Democratic candidate tonight.

9. The Republicans get to set down and listen to a bit of campaigning from each candidate. They don’t really care…cause last August there was some sort of Straw Poll taken in Ames (which is the center of Iowa) …and that apparently is more important than the Caucus.

10. The Republicans get a blank piece of paper to write down their one choice. (does spelling count? If they just jot down Rudy or Mitt…is that a valid vote? What if their penmanship sucks…and Huckabee look like Hunter?) Not that it matters cause the real Republican decision is made at the Republican State Convention (following District and County Conventions) and is NOT determined at the Caucus.

11. Ties are resolved by tossing a coin…or by drawing a name from a hat. Probably some hat with an e-phn buckeye on it. If you are only 17…but will be 18 by the election date…you get to participate in the Caucus. There is no absentee voting in the Iowa Caucus. If you are too ill to get there…need to work…or military stationed outside of the state…you are SOL.

12. If this does not make you sick at heart it should….
The candidates have spent over $40 million in political television ads. Not including travel…and other related expenses. CNN says that works out roughly to about $17 per voter, between $150 and $200 per expected caucus-goer. (Don’t get me started on the difference between those who are voters and those who actually participate in the Caucus…cause I will go ballistic) Yep…$40 million dollars on television advertising which you KNOW everyone in Iowa has been sick of for weeks now. Do you think ANYone learned ANYthing new about any of the candidates? (my previous rant on candidate spending and voter turnout can be found here)

13. To quote Josiah Bartlett (who is the candidate of choice for Desert Songbird):

You know we forget sometimes…
in all the talk about democracy
We forget it is NOT a democracy…
It’s a Republic.

People don’t make the decisions.
They choose the people who make the decisions.

Could they do a better job choosing?
Yea….but when you consider the alternatives…

not a teenager anymore....

Happy 20th Birthday

I Love You Little Missy
~ you will always be a child of my heart ~